FACTS: +Mikey Linus Costello +internationally known icon +collects sand +lives with Grandma +Blake the roommate +enjoys Little House on the Prairie +likes cake +dislikes Nazi super spies +pet dog Chichi +virgin +numerous girlfriends and sexually transmitted diseases +sXe 4 lyfe +recovering black tar heroin addict +eats cheeseburgers daily +vegan +resides in Taco Bell, California +loves boobs +has a terrific and exciting life +cannot tell a lie
This is my official biography, feel free to use it for your fan sites:
The question is, does anyone really know who mikey is? born michael linus costello, to a drunken mom and a snake, he quickly became a household name. Starring in movies side by side with Corey Feldman, he made a name for himself as the drunken 5 year old. By the age of 8, his addictions became more severe. By 9, he was hooked to heroin. But it all changed! when he became 10 and fell madly in love with Miguel, the mysterious woman from New Jersey that would eventually change his life. I hate this Miguel because now Mikey won't sleep with me... At the age of 11, he retired to persue his goal of ultimate world domination, beginning with fatherhood. At the age of 12, he got a job at Taco Bell, kissed his mom and the snake good-bye so he could move to California forever. Taco Bell, California. At the age of 13, his plans for domination became more possible, with the birth of 14 children, all from Miguel's womb. He quickly decided to get as many hours in at work as he would, raising it from 3, to 6 hours a week. This way he could support all his children, Miguel, and still have enough money for his plans of world domination. At the age of 15, with 35 kids under his belt, he quickly overthrew the president and became supreme leader of Denmark. At last he was achieving his goal. Later that year, he captured Eastern England. At the age of 16, he realized he had never been to school a single day in his life, and hired Michael Jackson to be his kindergarden teacher. At the age of 17, he graduated from high school, having attended every single year of school. At the age of 18, he became an international porn star, an anorexic one at that, at the weight of 140 LBS. He also captured Russia, because that country sucks anyways. At the age of 19, he gave it all away, when Miguel said it was either her or the world dominaton. So he sold his kids, who were now old enough to become porn stars themselves. He gave Miguel Russia as an engagement present, and gave Denmark back to China. Eastern England had been burned to death, and was rebuilt in 7 days, just like the prophets had claimed. A week later, he was fired from Taco Bell and decided to get a job at the airport, with knives and guns! Fin.